Sunday, August 30, 2009

My Mother-In-Law Saw Me Naked

Its true. She saw me naked a few times. Oh and I've peed on her too. And I am not embarrassed by those facts at all. In fact I am kinda proud of it. Not many people can say they pissed on their mother-in-law and she didn't care. Its not like I got drunk and just peed on her or anything. She was my midwife and it happened when I was giving birth. But still, it happened.

The first time she saw me naked, she looked at my vulva and said "You didn't have to shave for me". I almost died. Then I had to explain to her that I didn't shave it for her I keep it shaved all the time. She looked at me like I was child molester or something. Then proceeded to tell me that she has never shaved down there. She prefers the natural look. Yeah, so now I know that my husband came out of a hairy vagina. Not the best mental picture in the world.

That wasn't the only awkward encounter I have had with her, that was dealing with my vagina. Later on in my pregnancy she had to explain to me and my husband how to do a perineal massage. She was using her hands to show us how to do it and then told us that sometimes having your husband do the massage leads to sex. I don't think anyone wants their mother-in-law to give them new types of foreplay.

She's also not the only member of my husband's family to see me naked. Two of his sisters were in the room when I was giving birth. His older sister was helping his mother while his 15 year old sister took pictures. She watched a baby come out of my vagina and had to take pictures of it. I'm surprised she can look at me without throwing up. Four years later and she's one of my best friends though.

I think we may have one of the weirdest families out there. I mean weirdest without being incest and stuff. Because those incest families are definitely way weirder than our family.

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