There's This Weird Person Inside My Head

I'm not crazy or anything. Its not like I hear voices that tell me to kill people I just have a lot of weird random thoughts. On the outside I look normal (sorta) but in my head there are strange things afoot. Not like strange as in homicidal maniac thoughts. More like "I wonder why the alphabet is in the order that its in" or "if you douche too much will you pickle your vagina." Oh great...now I'm thinking about kosher vaginas. See what I mean. Its very scary in my brain sometimes.

These weird thoughts get me into trouble a lot. I will be concentrating so hard on not saying the weird thing I'm thinking that I will say some other random nonsense. Or I will get really nervous and say something completely inappropriate but not quite as inappropriate as the thing I was really thinking. And heaven help you if I am comfortable around you. I say the raunchiest things around my in-laws. You would think they would have disowned me by now but surprisingly they love me even more than they used to. I think they are just waiting for me to say something too extreme and then they are going to have me committed.

So I'm going to have to purge myself of all the weird stuff by posting it here anonymously. Lucky you, right? Oh come on its going to be fun. You can read all the weird crap I write and then feel really great about yourself because you know that there is at least one person out there who is creepier than you are. Its like free therapy or something. Yeah its exactly like that.

(Disclaimer: Because of all the weird stuff in my brain I obviously don't have the space to remember important things like proper grammar or correct punctuation. Thank goodness there is a spell check or you guys would really hate me.)