The Handshake

I recently met one of my husband's friends. He came over early one morning to pick my husband up because they were going to some meeting. I hate meeting my husband's friends. I don't want them to know that he is married to someone who is overweight. Yeah, I'm one of those people who has issues with their weight. I know its stupid but I really would rather hide in my house until I've lost all the extra weight than to go out and have people see me. See, if I meet Joe's friends right now they are going to see a fat girl but they aren't going to know that I used to be a lot fatter. They are just going to see how fat I am now. They wont know about all the progress I have made. And they wont know all the reasons I was fat in the first place. Joe doesn't care that I am still a little overweight he just wants me to hang out with him and his friends and have fun.

So I had to meet his friend because he was coming to our house. And of course we woke up late that morning. So Joe is rushing around trying to get ready and I am trying to take care of Enan and get myself ready before the friend shows up. I was feeling really unattractive so I did what I always do...I put on my pushup bra. Cleavage always gives me confidence. Plus with guys it usually distracts them from looking at the rest of me.

I was feeling a lot better until the friend showed up. Joe was still getting ready so I had to answer the door. Then it happened! He introduced himself and then stuck his hand out for a handshake. I HATE handshakes. They feel so awkward and personal to me. I would much rather someone do that weird side hug thing. I always worry that my hands are going to be sweaty or that my handshake is going to be weak and then they are going to judge me for it. As soon as he started shaking my hand my brain went blank. I don't remember what I said or even if I said anything at all. It was horrible. I wasn't able to relax until Josiah and his friend were gone.

It was at that point that I noticed that I had the worst coffee breath ever. I totally rock first impressions. (If you need me I will be locked in my house until I am fit to be out in public. Which may be never.)